Live A Happy life By Being Sad

Passion For life

I read an interesting article in Psychology Today called “The Pusuit of Happiness”. The author brings up some interesting points on how to live a happy life which interestingly includes being sad.

They start by pointing out that happiness is now a major business. Last year 4,000 books were published on happiness. Self appointed self-help gurus have jumped on the bandwagon guaranteeing to remove everything from your worry, depression to your anxiety.

Recently there has has been a backlash from the scientific community on the pursuit of happiness at all cost. Two notable books were published as a result:

“The Loss of Sadness: How Psychiatry Transformed Normal Sorrow into Depressive Disorder”
by Allan V. Horwitz & Jerome C. Wakefield

“Against Happiness”
by Eric G. Wilson

The authors argue that sadness is an important feeling that we should not try to suppress.

It’s unhealthy to not work through sadness. Eating fatty foods and buying expensive gifts does make us happy momentarily but at the cost of being unhealthy and unhappy in the long run. A happy life will include moments of sadness and discomfort because these times give us a chance to stretch and grow.

What Psychologists Say On Being Happy

pain is a part of happiness. In “The Happiness Trap” Russ Harris warns against people “struggling against reality”. We have to feel a range of emotions including sadness to have a rich and meaningful life. Happiness is meaningless without Sadness as is Night without Day.
engage in positive internal dialogue. Some people are born with a positive disposition the rest of us need to guard our thoughts.
because humans are adaptable we get used to each level of happiness with the accomplishments we archive. This is an innate, natural trait. When we reach a goal we again feel something is missing. Happiness in this case will always be just out of reach. The trick is to pick “in the zone” absorbing activities that are less likely to bore us.
true money does buy happiness in terms of living comfortably but generosity in giving it away buys even more happiness
avoid “status anxiety”. Basically you really don’t have to keep up with the Jones’s, it will only make you unhappy.
practice being mindful (relaxed awareness of each moment), especially of your feelings. Watch your feelings and catch what causes them at the source. Don’t try to force your feelings to change.
moving towards a goal makes us happy e.g. building something or acquiring a new skill. It’s not the final destination but the journey that makes us feel alive and challenged. Research by neuroscientist Richard Davids at the University of Wisconsin has shown that moving towards a goal also suppresses fear and depression as added benefits.
“The Paradox of Choice” was coined by psychologist Barry Schwartz. In this modern world we are faced with too much choice which leaves us stressed out because we worry about all the opportunities we might have missed. Simplify your life.
maintaining strong relationships creates a strong buffer against the ups and downs of life according to psychologist Chris Peterson.
humans are terrible at predicting how we will feel in the future because we base it on past (mostly inaccurate) memories. We need to forgo our mental projections of how we think things will be. Live in the now not the past.
excessively pessimistic people can turn their weakness into greater chance of success than most people. They prepare more and cover all the risks. So they often experience intensely happy accomplishments at the end of their sadness.

Finally what do you really want to do with your life? Not what others approve or expect of you. What do you really value? Unless you are doing what you really value you won’t feel fulfilled whatever the achievement.

Turn Happiness Into A Habit

Put the following practices into a daily routine. Happiness takes work

start a gratitude journal or a gratitude twitter account
visualize what you want for yourself each day. Start a Vision Board.
perform random acts of kindness for others

About Danny Sheehan

Danny lives in Hong Kong but is originally from Australia. He is Married to Maggie and together they have two children with whom they enjoy sharing and enjoying an exciting life with daily. Danny's passions are freedom, adventure and discovery, mainly in nature and science but also spiritually. He is a great believer in living in the NOW.
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